The following is a stream of consciousness style blog written from the perspective of someone flipping through the channels on Saturday, September 20, 2026 from 8pm to 10:30pm.
The games on national television tonight were:
- Phillies Vs. Mets on FOX
- Dallas Wings Vs. Chicago Sky on CBS
- Savannah Bananas Vs. Indianapolis Clowns on ESPN
- Ecuador Vs. Curaçao on FS1
Phillies Destroy Mets
It’s the 5th inning of the Phillies vs. Mets on Saturday night, June 20th – Bryce Harper just hit a triple for the first cycle in his illustrious career!
You can go ahead and watch the World Cup or the WNBA, hell – you could even watch the Savannah Bananas! The score is 13-1, the game is over – the Phillies are dunking on the Mets on prime time national television.
One of the best pitchers in baseball, Cristopher Sanchez is man-handling a bozo-studded lineup of disinterested sad sacks. The one exception being a Mark Vientos home run that not a soul will remember on the ride home from the game.
Ecuador and Curaçao are tied nill-nill in the 57th minute at 9pm on a Saturday night. Natasha Cloud just came off the bench for the Chicago Sky, who took their largest lead of the night against the Dallas Wings in the third.
In the 3rd inning of this NL East ass-whooping bonanza, Kyle Schwarber hit 913 feet worth of home run against two different pitchers. The Mets are lucky that all their fans are still celebrating the Knicks championship victory. Jon Stewart said on a podcast interview that he gave the Mets an amnesty to suck this year, because of the Knicks success. The Mets themselves are the only ones who are going to be hurt by this evening.
I’ll reiterate, Kyle Schwarber hit 2 home runs in the 3rd inning longer than 450 feet. He did this in the same game where Bryce Harper hit for the cycle for the first time in his career, while our Cy Young candidate pitches. That sounds like the kind of game that championship teams have.
Every player on the Phillies has hit, with the exception of Gabriel Rincones Jr – who has less than 20 career at-bats. Lazar just came in for Sanchez and let up a bomb – the score is now 13-3.
But who could think about Rincones when Kyle Schwarber hits his 3rd home run of the night!
Another faceless, nameless, expressionless Mets pitcher enters the home run factory after watching his predecessors and co-workers fail to last more than 2 innings a piece. Only 6 games separate the Mets and Phillies in the NL East – the Phils are in second, Mets in last. But tonight 12 runs separate them in the scoreboard which reads 15-3.
The Sky’s lead is slipping to a younger Dallas Wings team led by Paige Bueckers and Azzi Fudd, the lead has been cut to 5 with seven minutes left. Ecuador and Curaçao are tied nill-nill in the 93nd minute approaching 9:55 on a Saturday night.
No matter what channel you watched tonight – there was brand integration galore! Toy Story on ESPN, Monopoly Go! has a crossover with The Simpsons and the Minions are in business with Wendy’s! Isn’t life exciting!
It’s the top of the ninth, Phils are up by 12 – so in comes Jhoan Duran to throw 100 mph to a rookie named Ewing. Ecuador and Curaçao ends tied nill-nill. Garret Stubbs entered the game to relieve Bryce Harper from his fielding duties. Vientos strikes out foolishly.
Catcher Torrens gets a bloop hit, and the Phillies fans rain down a chorus of boos with one out left to go. Shortstop and pitcher, Zach Short is somehow batting like it’s 2002 – he inevitably strikes out and the fans get to go home happy!
The Phillies stars showed up and showed out on prime time during a very noisy sports weekend! The Mets-Phillies game was without a doubt the best thing on television Saturday night.
The Braves now lead the Phillies in the NL East by 7.5 games and would have a Wild Card spot if the season ended today! What once looked like a disastrous Phillies season is now back on the rails.
“There’s no greater power hitter in the game,” Bruce Harper said about Kyle Schwarber in his post-game interview. Vibes are high at Citizens Bank Park.
WNBA Suspense
Paige Bueckers nails a three-pointer with 29.8 seconds left in the game to bring the score to 92-91! After a clean inbound Bueckers falls to the ground giving the ball to Yueru Li who draws the fall to remove Sky star Kamilla Cardoso from the game with her 6th foul and 26 points.
Yuere knocks down both shots at the line to give the Wings their first lead of the night over the Sky, timeout with 12.5 seconds left in the game. Cardoso is visibly sobbing on the bench, the Sky stumble and fumble off the inbound – miss 3 or 4 layups and Dallas stole the game at the buzzer!
Tonight was a statement victory for the 10-6 Dallas Wings who had standout performances by Jessica Shepard, Bueckers, and Fudd!
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