Philly Plain Dealer

Ahead of Game 1 of their NLDS matchup with the Los Angeles Dodgers on Saturday, the Phillies unveiled that they will be doing their own in-ballpark version of the viral “9-9-9 challenge” where fans drink nine beers and eat nine hot dogs over the course of nine innings:

Those hot dogs look more fit for a hors d’oeuvre during a wedding cocktail hour than a true ballpark frank. Stadiums might have gone overboard with the 24-ounce tall boy beer cans over the years, but shrinking things down to a “petite” pour is likely just as bad.

The fact that this is all ordered at once in a single package is a major issue here. Fans would basically just have nine mini warm beers and nine mini cold hot dogs to munch on over the course of an anxiety-inducing three-hour postseason game against the defending champions. The playoffs are intense. The Phillies are relying on their fans to go wild and rile up the opponents, as has happened on multiple occasions over the last few Red Octobers. Just ask Atlanta’s Spencer Strider. If a fan is trying to do their best balancing act while sitting and holding that box, how are they supposed to get on their feet and make some noise whenever a Phillies pitcher has two strikes and two outs, let alone when Kyle Schwarber or Bryce Harper go yard? It’s nonsensical!

If a Phils fan wants to do this from the comfort of their home for a playoff game and go back to their fridge repeatedly for cold ones and have some fresh dogs off the grill, more power to them. That’s better functionality. It should even be encouraged!

If someone is doing this at the ballpark, it would be best to do it, say, on a random summer afternoon game where the stakes are infinitely lower than when the crowd should be trying to throw Shohei Ohtani off his game. The little box it comes with, which assuredly costs an absorbent amount of money, is just impractical. Fans would be better off just getting a couple hot dogs at a time and flagging down a beer guy as needed opposed to the little bundle as well.

This is far from a warning against gluttony or partying. Go wild with a deliciously messy burnt ends cheesesteak from Bull’s BBQ and take a case to the face in the parking lot beforehand if that’s what it will take to make Citizens Bank Park a hellacious environment for opponents. This contraption simply isn’t it though.